remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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