now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
