i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
