I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
