I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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