Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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