wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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