i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
