spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
