Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
