Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
