That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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