i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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