Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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