a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
