she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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