Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
