Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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