just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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