My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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