Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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