Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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