just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
high people should be assigned attendants
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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