Moan for me like Helen Keller
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
