I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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