the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
