Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
