If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
