You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
