The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
