If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize