We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
