i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
