She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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