We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
