also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
