My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
