i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
