Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
