i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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