At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
