Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize