Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize