I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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