so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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