the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
