yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
