That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
