didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
