in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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