I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
smell my finger.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
