bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
