doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
