my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im holly from the hills drunk
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
