the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it because I queefed?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
