i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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