Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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