I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
