And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
